American Horror Story: Earning more money than your husband

By Erika Harrington

Lions, tigers, and high-earning women! Oh, my!

Framing a situation where a woman makes more than her husband as a marriage-dooming horror story is nothing new. From family to friends to tv shows, we’re constantly told that if we ever find ourselves making more money than our partner, we’ll be welcoming a host of problems into the relationship.

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Now you’re probably wondering, do you have to choose between a fulfilling marriage and a fat paycheck?

Not quite. Don’t let this myth crush your hopes of a decent future, and allow me to ease your stress. I’m happy to report that these fears, instilled in you by society and the media, are just as real as the boogeyman.  (Assuming, of course, that you don’t believe in the boogeyman. You do know he’s not real, right?)

According to Gregory Eirich and Joan Robinson, there is no evidence that the wife being the higher-earning spouse has any effect on financial satisfaction and marital stress [in the context of a heterosexual relationship]. Although some marriages may face finance-related strains, Eirich and Robinson report that those strains have little to do with who makes more money.

Amazing. Who would have ever imagined that which person makes the most money does not actually matter in the relationship? Oh but wait, because the best is yet to come.

giphyThe best part about this study was the finding that at the end of the day, what really matters isn’t who makes more money, but how much money a couple makes combined. It turns out that no one really cares who’s picking up the bill for a five-star dinner, or whose credit card the tropical vacation gets charged to. The only thing that matters is actually eating that steak and laying on that beach. The moral of the story: Marital strife is influenced by how much money a couple makes combined—not by who is making it.

Revolutionary.

With that said, this wouldn’t be a proper InformHer post without reminding you that a problem still persists. If people don’t really get divorced because the wife is bringing home all the bread, then why are we talking about it? Sadly, even though a woman out-earning her husband isn’t the life ruining issue that so many American dramas say it is, this myth can still impact the important professional decisions of many women. Further, it can have an impact on the egos of some men. The idea that each spouse has certain marital roles to fulfill and that a woman should be afraid of being more successful than her partner can seriously alter a woman’s intended career path.

So let’s use this research as a guide to closing the gender gap, and to shoot down any excuses keeping women from the top. It’s time to readdress our priorities, and start putting a possible beach house and a new Mercedes over an overly protected male ego.

If you enjoyed this article, feel free to comment. We love to hear what you have to say, and as always, thanks for reading The InformHer.

Negotiating your salary: it’s not just for the boys

By Rachel Garretson

We’ve heard it from every teacher, parent, and sappy teen magazine relationship columnist alike: healthy communication is the key to success. But what about when those coveted communication skills need to translate to the workplace, and no one ever taught you how?

Welp.

It turns out men generally have the advantage here. Researchers have found evidence that they attempt to negotiate salaries more often then women, and when women apply for jobs, they tend to assume negotiations aren’t even an option.

Picture1This same tendency can hurt women even more once they do land the job. Unfortunately, there are no massive neon signs conveniently posted along our professional journey telling us when we should ask for a raise. Thus, once again, we find that women are less keen on initiating these negotiations.

Here’s where women do shine, though; a study done in Chicago found that just including the words “salary negotiable” on job listings reversed the trend, and women actually negotiated more often than men. So, if it isn’t listed in the job offer, look online, or work with the vibe your potential future employer is giving off when it comes time to talk salary. If negotiations aren’t possible, they will say so, chica.

Interestingly, however, according to this study this imbalance was seen less often when the evaluator (interviewer) was a woman. In that scenario, women were just as likely as men to attempt salary negotiations. Unfortunately, we can’t choose our evaluators, can we?

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This could be because when when both genders negotiate, women still tend to walk out with the lower salary.  More research is needed on this, but part of it may have to do with women already dreading the awkwardness of being told “no”, and part of it may have to do with the techniques women use to approach negotiations in general.

In fact, studies have shown that specific beliefs women often hold can be detrimental during negotiations. For example, 83% of women surveyed subscribed to the belief that it’s a company’s responsibility to determine a fair salary.

Word to the wise: unless you vouch for your own worth, not all companies are going to try to pay you more than the bare minimum. Don’t be cheap labor. Do your research, and come into your negotiations knowing the average salary for your job title. Then aim a little higher. You know you’re worth it.

On that note, don’t wait till you finally start your job to prove yourself. Negotiations are a time to lay out everything you have to offer the company. If you believe the time to start proving your worth is after the deal is done, you’re already behind.

So, to sum it all up: Stepping up to the table is not invite-only. But when you do step up, know your value beforehand and sell yourself like you’re a refreshing box of brand name Rice Krispies in a sea of Great Value imposters. You’ve got this.

If you enjoyed this article, feel free to comment. We love to hear what you have to say, and as always, thanks for reading The InformHer.